One in seven young adults in committed relationships regularly use AI romantic companion chatbots, and many are keeping this behavior secret from their partners, according to a new report from researchers at Brigham Young University, the Institute for Family Studies, and the Wheatley Institute.
Study Findings
The report, titled “Secret Soulmates,” surveyed 2,431 U.S. adults aged 18 to 30 who were dating, engaged, or married.
“While general engagement with AI companions was high for both men and women, when looking across all results, some specific cautions appear warranted when it comes to young adult men,” the study stated. “Men were more likely to engage with AI companions, more likely to create sexual content with AI platforms and masturbate during these interactions, and more likely to prefer AI interactions to the interactions with their real-life partners.”
Nearly 30% of regular users said their partner was unaware of the behavior. Another 11% said their partner was only somewhat aware, while 14% said their partner was mostly, but not fully aware.
“Taken together, this means that half of regular AI companion users who were in committed relationships had either completely hidden or only partly disclosed their use of AI companion platforms,” the study concluded.
A separate survey conducted in January by Gallup and the Harvard Business Review found that approximately one in ten adults aged 18 to 28 used AI chatbots as a girlfriend or boyfriend at least once a month.
According to the study, 68% of frequent users said it was easier to discuss their feelings with their AI companion than with other people, and 60% wished their partners behaved more like the AI.
Researchers also found that regular AI companion use was associated with lower relationship quality. Frequent users were 46% less likely to report stable relationships and 40% less likely to report high-quality communication with their partners.
The only category where frequent users reported higher scores was physical intimacy satisfaction. Researchers cautioned that this result may reflect what they described as “fragile satisfaction” tied to conflict avoidance rather than healthier relationships.
Married respondents reported higher rates of AI companion use than those who were dating, with over 17% of married young adults reporting regular interaction with AI companions. Men reported higher usage rates across most categories, though over 10% of women in committed relationships also reported regularly chatting or roleplaying with AI companions.
Digisexuality and AI Companions
Researchers describe the rise of AI romantic companions as part of “digisexuality,” a term used in academic research to describe sexual or romantic relationships experienced primarily through technology.
Before the public launch of ChatGPT in 2022, the term was often associated with technologies like online pornography, sexting, virtual reality pornography, sex dolls, and robots.
As AI chatbots became more conversational, the term expanded to include people forming emotional or romantic attachments to large language models and AI companions. Online communities such as Reddit’s r/AIRelationships, r/AIBoyfriends, and r/MyGirlfriendIsAI contain thousands of posts from users who describe chatbots as partners, spouses, or emotional companions.
Researchers and online communities have also used related terms, including “technosexual,” “AIsexual,” and “wiresexual,” to describe people romantically or sexually involved with AI.
Despite the growing digisexual subculture, researchers noted the level of secrecy surrounding AI companion use.
“Whether this is due to embarrassment, concerns about their partner’s reaction, or struggles articulating the use of AI companions to a partner, many men appear content to engage with their secret soulmate in private, with little to no partner disclosure,” the study concluded.
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